Perhaps In Another Life
by logic-has-no-place-here
Summary: What if he left her, what if one night was all they had? What if she had another chance? What if she wasn't as innocent as they thought? What if she had another chance?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Something that popped in to my head a while back that I wrote down whilst drunk at 4am, I've decided to post it as it has potential. If I continue it will be a time travel story, they've been done a million times over but hopefully this won't be like all the rest of them. Also I'm not sure how old Hermione was prior to Sirius' death but sixteen seemed better (slightly more realistic) Read and review, let me know what you want to see happen and what you like and or dislike,  
Much love, logichasnoplacehere xo

What if he left her, what if one night was all they had? What if she wasn't as innocent as they thought?

Hermione sat on her door step as she pulled a ciggertte out of the packet before her and took a sip of her fire whiskey. She reflected on his touch, how bad yet completely right it had felt, his calloused hands running over her hips and stroking her thighs. She knew if Harry and Ron ever found out they would be appalled, the man they saw as a father had taken their hermione right under their noses. But he was gone now behind the veil, to face death or whatever awaited him in that mysterious limbo of sorts.

She missed him more and more as the days passed, it was hard not to show just how much she missed him. After all no one knew quite how close the were. She hated to think off the repercussions if anyone found out, after all she was only just sixteen not legal in the wizarding or muggle worlds. She heard footsteps inside and quickly put out her cigarette with a quiet splutter she had taken up smoking after he died. Four long months had passed since then and Harry still seemed vacant, lost in his grief. He stayed in his room except for meal times when he slumped down The stairs, ate and spoke as little as possible then disappeared once more.

Hermione pitied him. The boy was at a loss without his godfather the only true parental figure he had, sure there was Molly Weasley or Dumbledore but both of them had their own families or burdens to deal with. And She knew Harry didn't want to impose. She had offered him to stay at her house over the holidays but he had refused, personally she thought he was staying with the Dursleys to punish himself. Until the Weasleys demanded he come visit.

He never stated it out loud but she could she be blamed himself for Sirius' death. She wished there was something anything she could do to help him. He was like a brother to Hermione. She stood brushing herself off and watching the beginnings of daylight stream in through the trees around her. She thought she heard a gnome snort somewhere in the distance. She headed back inside to complete her history of magic essay on Wilbert the Wild before the Weasleys and Harry woke up. The we're having a small memorial service with the few people who knew of Sirius' innocence.

It would be a very somber and short affair, Hermione knew how hard it world be for Harry but hopefully it could give him some closure at least as much closure as he could have with out a body or any proof of death. Hermione wondered sometimes in her weaker moments if he really was gone after all no one knew what exactly lay beyond the veil or what it's purpose was. Many theories had been given over the years, some more plausible then others. The commonly accepted theory was the veil held death. A sort of passing over point for the newly departed.

All she knew was that everyone who had written about or been in its presence was very wary of it and felt it was best left alone. Hermione how ever had different ideas. Tomorrow after the service they were to return to 12 Grimmauld place to hear Sirius' woollies be read and tidy up a little decide what to do with Kreacher. During this time Hermione planned to sneak off to the black library and see what she could find in the dark and questionable tomes about the veil or any similar objects. The plan left quite a bit to desire but she couldn't stand to see Harry in such pain and if it brought them both a little closure then all the better.

Hermione drained her Firewhiskey and silently poured another miXing it with the little bottle of ginger beer she had brought at the muggle store a mile down the road. She went over her plan once more while she drank before rinsing out the glass tumbler and returning it to its proper place so the Weasleys or Harry wouldn't notice. This routine had been going on the past few months and no one was any wiser, although Ginny had asked why Hermione's breath smelt so funny a few days prior which she had just shrugged off and Ginny had said nothing more on the subject. Hermione assumed Ginny was more concerned with Harry's current state to notice we hay was going on under her nose.

Hermione quietly began to climb the stairs when she heard a door opening and saw Harry quietly tip toeing out of Ron's bedroom, he hadn't noticed her yet so she cleared her throat.

"Can't sleep?" she posed, it wasn't really a question, she knew Harry wasn't sleeping and when he did manage to he was soon woken by night terrors. If her plan worked Harry wouldn't have to worry much longer.

"Nope." Came the groggy reply as Harry stumbled down to the kitchen. Hermione didn't follow knowing he would want peace and quiet, besides she had a plan ago fine tune before the reading of the will. She smiled to herself as she considered the possibilities...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Two chapters in one night? I know I'm shocked too. I don't own Anything you recognise as the lovely miss Rowlings. I don't own much actually haha, the life of a perpetually broke ex student. Anyways read and review. I'm not too happy with this instalment but I accidentally deleted the original copy and wrote this in like, half an hour. I apologise for any errors. :)  
Much love,  
Logic x  
As they stood before Grimmauld place Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine. In the months since Sirius had last inhabited the house it had not changed much on the outside. The wards would have broken by now with no Black heir to keep them strong. For a brief moment she expected him to come bounding down the stairs his mysterious yet playful smirk firm in place. Of course he wouldn't. She shook away such painful thoughts she glanced at Harry out of the corner of her eye. He looked completely heartbroken, she reached for Harry's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they followed Molly and her children over the threshold. Hermione felt the familiar slight tug on magic of the Black family wards, giving her hope. After all they didn't have a body of any refutable proof Sirius was truly gone.  
The made their way in to the living room where a goblin sat, parchment firmly grasped in his claw like hands. He cleared his throat as they all found their seats and began to speak.  
"This is the last will and testament of I, Sirius Orion Black, of sound mind and body.  
To Harry James Potter, I leave my house 12 Grimmauld place, London. My vault at Hogwarts and the Black estates in France and Scotland. I hope they are more of a home to you.  
To Andromeda Tonks, I leave the box labeled 'heirlooms' in the hopes that she finds them of use and happiness.  
To Remus Lupin, I leave my wand and the box of photographs in my vault labeled 'mementoes' In the hopes that he will share them with Harry and always treasure the time we had.  
To Hermione Granger, I leave the key to the Black family library. Knowledge is power when used correctly.  
And finally,  
To Hagrid, I leave my motorcycle, use it well my friend."  
The goblin cleared his throat once more.  
"Any questions" everyone shook their heads sombrely. He left me the key. did he know? how? Hermione thought as the goblin pressed the cold slightly rusted key in to her hand.  
After the goblin. Gerpeink had left everyone slowly shuffled about trying to figure out what to do now.  
"I'm just, umm.. going to nip upstairs." Hermione said quietly hoping no one would pick up on the nervousness in her voice.  
"Good old 'Mione. Can't keep her head out of the books!" Laughed Ron watching her stalk out of the room a determined look on her face.  
Standing before the heavy oak door Hermione paused briefly, who knew what was in behind this door. The black family had questionable morals, she knew yet would be some dangerous books in the library. Bracing her self she put the key to the lock and turd the handle of the door was instantly enveloped by the smell of ancient books and lost knowledge. Inside stood rows upon rows of shelves all piled ceiling high.  
Walking to the centre of the dusty, neglected room she sat in rent of an antique solid desk. It had runic engravings around the lattice work. She placed her mole skin pouch on the desk and began to rummage through it until she felt the cold metal of her flask brush against her delicate hand. She withdrew it carefully unscrewing the cap and took a lengthy sip of the cheap muggle vodka she had 'borrowed' from her parents alcohol cabinet before getting started.  
She began by the door skimming over the books that seemed to be irrelevant in her search; _Enchant Your Friends and Curse Your Enemies, Dark Creatures of the English Isles, Daily Spells for the Homemaker in Us All._

"Useless!" She muttered under her breath before one book caught her eye, '_Objects of Power and Mystery_' was printed on it in unassuming lettering. She pulled the book from the shelf flipping violently to the contents page. "Veils- page 479" she read before flicking impatiently to the the page. 'Chain veils of protection, stone veil of the the Druids, lycanthropes veil, veils of disguise.'  
"Fuck it." She muttered shocked at the crass word that had tumbled from her lips. She slammed the book shut and resumed her search occasionally stopping to sip from her flask. After an hour Hermione was getting disheartened when one book stood out to her. '_Bonds of Destiny and Spells of Fate_.' was scrawled across the spine in peeling gold lettering, she desperately pulled it for the shelf flipping though the pages barely taking in the print until she stopped about a hundred pages in. 'Spell to Bring Back What Was Lost.' Could this be what she was looking for. The title as unassuming but she felt a pull deep inside her. She skimmed the page;  
'This spell aims to help the caster find something or someone dear to them. It has not been used since the 1800's due to its dangerous nature. It transports the caster to the lost object no matter where it resides. The spell has been known to be unpredictable and shall only work if you have the thing in mind and it is your truest desire. It must be said slowly with great care and pronunciation whilst thinking of an important time with the belonging. Although it can be used to find people this author highly discourages it and recommends the use of a point me spell or similar instead.' Hermione read, her eyes flashed, could this be it? Could this bring back Sirius? She had to try for her and for Harry, but most importantly for Sirius. He needed them just as much as they needed him.  
'**Manus fati. Fato casus desiderari abierunt. Et convertam reversionem eu facere quod perierat**'

The spell sounded simple enough Hermione thought, reaching in to her mole skin pouch. She grasped her flask once more. With another drawn out sip she prepared herself, desperation driving her she cleared her thoughts focusing on the memory of her and Sirius, they were in the kitchen late at night quietly arguing over something trivial in the Daily Prophet when his lips had cut her off mid argument. It was her favourite memory of him the way his lips and the rough stubble on his chin had felt pressed against her as his lips mashed into hers so hungrily, With such desperate desire. Focusing on this memory she took and deep breath and recited the incantation.  
The room started to shake around her, a slight tremor at first growing in to a deep rumbling as the books flew off the shelves and a breeze that came from no where swept through the room, blowing her hair every which way.  
"Hermione!" Came a startled yell as she felt a tidal wave of magic brewing in her core. It swept over her and she gave in completely. With a loud pop she was gone. The wind died down instantly and the trembling stopped.  
Harry stood in the doorway a shocked look plastered across his face, emerald eyes shining with an unrecognisable emotion.  
"Molly! Ron! Anyone! Come quickly!" His voice breaking in fear. He had lost Sirius, his godfather, brother, friend and confidant all rolled in to one. The closest thing to a father figure had known. He couldn't lose her as well He just couldn't...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm spoiling you guys. Ah the joys of being bed ridden with adult chicken pox! Last chapter of the day I think. I don't own HP sadly. Not too happy with it as it felt a little rushed. Please review, tell me your thoughts and theories. What you like and dislike. It means a lot to me as a writer to get feedback on my creations.  
Much love,  
Logic x

At Grimmauld place an all out state of emergency had been declared. The Weasleys had come running at Harry's horrifying scream, they found the young man collapsed in the centre of the library, his whole body heaving as he cried hysterically. Ginny and Ron ran to comfort him not sure what else to do. Ron patted his back awkwardly as Ginny hugged him, tears welling up in her hazel eyes.  
"Gone... Disappeared!" Sobbed Harry as he lent against Ginny for support. She wasn't jealous of Hermione, she knew that Harry saw her as a sister, he was closer to her then Ron in many ways but there was nothing going on between them.  
"Shh. Harry we will find her. It's going to be alright." Ginny wasn't sure if she believed herself but it seemed to reassure Harry momentarily.  
Molly tore about the messed up library, looking for any sign of Hermione amongst the now damaged books. All she had found was the key to the library sitting in a scorched patch of carpet. She started to sob as well, Fred and George rushed to her side, rubbing her back silently. After a few moments Molly had composed herself slightly. Raising her wand she sent out to patronous', one for Dumbledore and one for Arthur. Harry watched the silvery otters bound across the now trashed room and through the closed window.  
Something on the desk caught Harry's eye. Unsteadily he stood and sauntered over to it, on top of the desk was an envelope bearing Hermione's delicate and concise cursive 'To whom it may concern.'  
Harry tore open the letter. His hands trembling and began to read aloud to the room of shocked Weasleys.  
'To whom it may concern,  
I'm assuming you have this letter because I am gone. While I do not know how, where or when I am going I feel that I will have to leave soon. I have been looking for away to bring Sirius back for the past few months, if you are reading this then I have found that way hopefully. Do not fear as I am prepared for what may happen. In my moleskin purse is one thousand, six hundred pounds and eighty four pence, my life savings. I also have tins of beans and such, Harry's invisibility cloak, (sorry Harry!) my wand and spare clothes. I also have a copy of this letter. If I have not returned in three months then please inform the Department of Mysteries, the Order of the Phoenix and my parents as I may have found a way to travel through the veil and am possibly stuck or am otherwise out of reach. Give my love to Harry, the Weasleys and my parents. But most importantly do not follow me where ever I am. I had to do this, not just for Harry or Sirius but for myself as well. I don't expect you to understand. Just let me go, I have to do this. I'm sorry.  
Regards,  
Hermione Granger'  
Harry cleared his throat and looked around the room everyone stared at the parchment in his hand in a stunned silence. What had Hermione done? Was she really so foolish to attempt to go through the veil. What would happen to her, was she okay or had she gone like Sirius in to the great unknown...

Hermione slowly glanced around she was still in the Black family library she noticed as her vision returned. it was dark outside, the half moon shone through the surprisingly grime free window. She sat up slowly her body shaking, every where hurt and it felt although her head was splitting in half. She heard a noise that sounded unmistakably like the Black family matriarch Walburga but that was impossible as Walburga had been dead for years now.  
Hermione tried to quietly stand and find a place to hide just in case. Luck was not on her side however as instantly she stumbled in to the nearest book shelf knocking several large tomes to the ground with a loud clatter. Her energy was waning, desperately she reached in to her mole skin purse and pulled out Harry's cloak, she threw it over her self and crawled away from the fallen books as footsteps approached the library.  
Hermione had to shove her hand to her mouth to keep from crying out in shock as she saw what was obviously a very young Regulus Black standing in the entry, he looked so much like Sirius in the photos her and Harry had seen at Grimmauld place. There were a few slight differences though; Regulus's eyes were a murky green where Sirius' were a steely grey, Regulus' also had higher cheekbones and a very aristocratic look in the way he held himself, with a bored look in his eyes he swaggered in to the library.  
"You can come out now." He whispered his voice held an uncertainty his appearance did not give away.  
Hermione lay deathly still trying not to make a single o  
Sound that would give her away.  
"Show yourself. The wards were activated, I know someone is in here, Siri is it you?" Regulus had more confidence this time. "Mother will go mental if she finds you." He waited for a sign of life, after a few moments he sighed as he turned to leave. Hermione let out a breath she hasn't realised she was holding and allowed the shock of seeing the long dead younger Black boy. He must have been sixteen or so, not much older than her. But that was impossible. He couldn't be alive could he?  
'Shit, i have to get out of here. now' Hermione groaned inwardly. What had she gotten herself in to. All she wanted was to see Sirius again and bring him home, to help Harry, to save the withdrawn lost boy, give him back his happiness and if she got to feel the older man even just once more. Well that was just a perk.

Hermione tried to stand once more carefully removing the cloak. Her magic felt drained almost completely. She needed a get away, but how she thought desperately. Suddenly she realised Sirius's room was the next door over if Reg was sixteen-ish then Sirius should have already moved out, bracing herself she tip toed towards the door and out in to the hallway. Resisting the urge to sprint in to Sirius' old bedroom she crept up to the stiff, dark wood door. She turned the handle quietly as possible and disappeared in to the comfort of Sirius' room. It looked exactaly as she remembered only less dusty and neglected. The faded posters she remembered seemed to gleem in the darkened room. If memory served her correctly Sirius had a stash of potions hidden in the bottom drawer or his bedside table, he claimed it was a habit he had started in his fifth year at Hogwarts. She reached in to the door which was slightly ajar and rummaged as quickly as possible for a pepper-up potion. She didn't know what was going on but she couldn't stay in house with Walburga Black the famous muggle born hater. Finding a phial that seemed promising she stared at it trying to make out the label.  
Realising it was in didn't what she needed she tipped it back, grimacing at the aftertaste. Letting it work for a few minutes she pondered her next move where should she go, where could she go? It wasn't like she could just walk in to Hogwarts and expect the headmaster to take her word that she was possibly from the future. Diagon Alley popped in to her head, more specifically The Leaky Cauldron. Currently she couldn't see away out of the house though. She had read in truly desperate situations it was possible to apperate past lower level wards. But she couldn't apperate, she had read the theory but had never tried. She didn't have much choice though. Walburga would discover her soon. Hermione shuddered at the thought of what that evil woman would do if she caught a muggle born on her property. Taking a deep breath Hermione readied herself focusing on her intended destination and she gathered her magic from her core fixating on getting to Diagon Alley. The last thing she saw was the shadowed figure of Regulus Black staring at her as she disapperated...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: another chapter for you all, bit short but i'm just trying to set up the storyline currently. things should pick up in the next few chapters. Once again please review let me know what you like and dislike, what you want to see happen!

Much love,

Logic x

Hermione hit the ground with a dull thud, her body ached all over. She took the pain as a sign she hadn't splinched herself which was reassuring she supposed, she wasn't sure where she was it was completely dark around her, the last thing she noticed was a door creaking open as she fainted.  
"Lass! You're awake." A voice proclaimed rather excitedly. "I thought you were a goner." Hermione tried to sit up, her head was spinning and her body refused to comply. The room slowly swam in to view, she appeared to be in one of the rooms of The Leaky Cauldron. She saw what was unmistakably a much younger Tom, the inn keeper standing over her,wet cloth in one hand  
"Don't move lassie" he commanded bustling about the room.  
"What happened?" She was surprised at how raspy her voice sounded.  
"Could ask you the same thing. Found you in the alley out back. What's your name girl?" He pressed the damp cloth to Hermione's forehead. She decided it was best to play dumb for now.  
"I... I don't know." She replied. "One minute I was in the library reading the next I was here." It wasn't a lie really, she had been in the library.  
"What's your name?" Tom repeated, a mixture of confusion and worry evident upon his young face. Hermione racked her brain trying to think of a name she could use. Not knowing entirely what had happened it didn't seem wise to reveal too much until she knew more of her current situation.  
"Lottie.. I think, I'm not sure"  
"How can you not be sure of your own name?"  
"I..I can't remember anything other then being in the library." Hermione was slightly shocked at how convincing she sounded.  
"Oh. Well I'll leave you to get some rest, your exhausted and had a nasty cut across your face an' chest. I healed it as best as I could." Tom said gruffly as he headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few hours to give you some potions and check up on ya."  
Hermione sighed as the door closed. What had she gotten herself in to now. She closed her heavy lidded eyes as sleep claimed her once more.

Three days later she was feeling well enough to leave the room, she checked herself over in the mirror. Her hair was lank and knotted the cut across her face had healed almost completely, she didn't think it would scar thankfully. Rummaging through her purse she found her flask , she drained it before leaving the room. She slowly made her way down the stairs remembering that it would seem weird if she miraculously knew her way around. Pausing and looking around she caught Tom's eye and he beckoned her over.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked, polishing a mug.  
"Okay I suppose. How much do I owe you for letting me stay?"  
"Don't worry about it lass, I do have a concern though. The ministry have no record of a Lottie being born or reported as missing. Any idea why?"  
Shit hermione thought, what do I say now.  
"I really don't know anything." Hermione's voice quivered uncertainly.  
"Hmm.." Tom gazed at her his eyes seeming to penetrate her soul. " You really can't remember anything?"  
"No"  
"Well. For now we'll say your my cousin from Australia, Lottie Walters. Half blood. You were home schooled by your mother who recently passed away. How old are you?"  
"Sixteen.. I think. Thank you Tom, you don't have to do this for me." Hermione was shocked, the man had always seemed so aloof to her.

"It's dangerous times, can't have you out on your own with this 'Dark Lord' running about can we. You need to get a job though, alright?"  
"Thank you so much, of course I will! Thank you" hermione gushed.  
" Good tha's settled then. Old Mr. Blott is looking for a part timer, I told him you'd pop in today."  
Hermione's head was spinning. She nodded meekly as Tom gave her instructions to Flourish and Blotts bookstore.

An hour later Hermione was signing the paperwork that would make her new job official.  
"Umm.. Excuse me sir, what is the the date?" Hermione asked nervously.  
"November twenty-fourth, nineteen seventy eight." Came the disinterested reply. Leonardo Blott was a small man with wispy white hair and a permanent distracted look that reminded Hermione of Luna Lovegood.  
"Holy shit!" Hermione mumbled. That was impossible! She had gone back almost twenty steadied herself against the desk as she felt a faint feeling wash over her. Quickly signing the parchment and making her good byes she scurried outside her head spinning once more. Nineteen-seventy eight! The book was meant to take her to Sirius, not back in time. That was impossible. Wasn't it..


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oh! What's this?! Another chapter. I seem to have been bitten by insparation. You guys know the deal. I don't own Harry Potter. Blah blah, boring legal stuff. Enjoy and review please.

much love,

Logic x

Almost a month had passed since Hermione began working at Flourish and Blotts, it was fairly uneventful. Occasionally Mr. Blott would drag her around Diagon Alley to brag about his 'star' worker to the other shop keepers. Hermione quite liked the old man, he was patient and kindly. He gave a discount on books and was always fussing over her, Hermione came to see him as a grandfather figure of sorts.

Most of the time Hermione just went straight back to the Leaky Cauldron where she would help Tom by cleaning tables and keeping the place tidy.  
Hermione and Tom had struck a friendship of sorts. While closing they would discuss recent events reported in the Daily Prophet. She was often surprised by just how much Tom knew, he'd just shrug coyly and say it came from years of bar tending and loose lipped patrons.  
The atmosphere around Diagon Alley was rapidly changing, whispers of Lord Voldemort's power were intensifying and many witches and wizards refused to linger, especially after dark unless strictly necessary.  
Hermione liked to occasionally sneak off to muggle London to refill her flask and just look around however it was becoming increasingly harder to do as Tom was wary about letting her wonder about on her own given the turmoil slowly rising.

The nights when she couldn't escape in to London and her flask was empty were some of the worst she had had since Sirius' departure. It meant she was left alone to her destructive thoughts and to wallow in her grief.  
The forced sobriety also left her with the night terrors she had tried so hard to block out. She would wake at least twice a night, shaking with silent tears rolling down her checks as she was forced to watch Sirius die in new and horrifically painful ways.  
The worst one involved Sirius not dying, instead had lived and they started a relationship. She lay in his bed once more, her hand intwined in his bigger calloused one. This dream hurt worse as felt so real, she could almost smell his musky aroma lingering as she awoke.  
She dreaded seeing the younger Sirius as she knew she would eventually. Even thinking about it made her heart ache beyond belief, she knew when she saw him she would want him completely, but he wasn't her Sirius. He was younger, reckless and unchanged by a hard life of regret, hurt and suffering in Azkaban. He wouldn't be the man that she knew so Intimately, the man who had kissed her then pushed her away claiming he was broken, the age difference too great. The man who had relented with a heavy heart and taken her for the first time.  
Life for Hermione went on at its usual pace as it tends to do, no matter how one wishes it to slow down. Her hours at the bookstore increased as the Hogwarts students went on their Christmas break.  
Hermione continued her routine of work then back to the Cauldron. Diagon Alley became a flurry of people as it grew closer to Christmas, hermione rarely had time to stop and think which she thought was a very good thing indeed.  
Flourish and Blotts had been particularly busy as people search for last minute gifts.  
Hermione was standing behind the counter taking a brief moment to herself and looking over the sale records when a slight cough caught her attention. She almost fainted in shock when she saw who it was. A young Remus Lupin stood before her smiling nervously. He would have been about seventeen but there was no mistaking him. His sandy brown hair hung over his left eye, his face held none of the scars or wrinkles of the senior Lupin. His bright eyes shone with a certain mixture of happiness and an underlying sadness.  
"Excuse me, do you have a book on Grims?" He fidgeted, his eyes not quite meeting Hermiones. She felt a lump forming in her throat, she knew she would run in to someone she knew eventually she had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.  
"Umm, y..yes we do, follow me." She managed to splutter out trying to return his smile. This can't be happening she thought. She turned to lead Remus to the divination section, he attempted to strike up a conversation with her, explaining the book was a joke gift for a friend. Hermione nodded weakly.  
"I haven't seen you before. Are you new to London?" Remus observed.  
"I just moved here from Australia, my mother died so I am staying with my uncle." Hermione hoped it sounded believable, she had been forced to repeat the story many times over and it was almost second nature to her now.  
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss.. Uh I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?" Remus truly did look upset her her, which made Hermione feel worse for lying to him. He was such a kind and genuine soul. Her heart ached for him as she realised in just three short years be would be alone, friendless and having to face his transformations alone. She knew she couldn't interfere but there was no way she would let him bear that burden alone if she could help it.  
"I didn't. I'm Lottie. Lottie Walters" she held out her hand for him which he accepted with a warm smile. They talked a little while longer about how 'Lottie' was enjoying England and Remus' school and so on.  
In a strange way Hermione felt comforted by the young man that would one day be her professor. Their conversation flowed easily and soon they were chatting away like two old friends.  
"Remi! Are you done?" Came a bored yet aristocratic drawl interrupting their conversation. Hermione would have known that voice anywhere. She spun around to the entrance where none other then Sirius himself stood. He was shorter then when she knew him, his face so full of life. Steely grey eyes shining with amusement and a smirk playing across his delicate features. Hermione paled as she saw the younger Sirius standing no more then ten feet away. She gasped as she felt her knees give out and everything went dark..


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: just another quick chapter, a large section of it is memories though. Bit of a slow one. I'm not happy with the start of it.

Enjoy and review please! I thrive on feedback it encourages me to write. Almost 200 people have read this and not 1 has left a review. :(

Much love,

Logic x

Hermione awoke to the sound of hushed voices, keeping her eyes shut she tried to listen.

"I dunno, she fainted. She was fine one minute then on the floor the next sir!" Came Remus' distressed voice. Her heart skipped a beat as she heard Sirius' voice again, it wasn't as harsh as the Sirius she knew. She decided it was time to make her presence known, slowly she fluttered her eyes open and tried to sit up although she quickly felt strong hands pushing her back down. Tom was standing over her with a concerned look on his face, the forms of a teenaged Sirius and Remus peeked around him looking equally worried.

"What happened?" Tom asked gruffly.

"I'm not sure. I must have forgotten to eat." Hermione hoped like hell Tom would believe her and not question her any further. It wasn't a lie exactly, she hadn't been eating much lately, she had been flat out at the bookstore.

Remus stepped out from behind Tom and pressed something into her hand.

"Eat it, you'll feel better." He still didn't quite meet her eyes. She looked down at the block of Honeydukes finest in her hand. She weakly nodded her thanks.

"You're lucky these boys were there to help you. I have to be getting back to th' bar." Tom grumbled making his leave.

"I'm sorry to inconvenience you both."

"It's fine, I have that effect on girls" Sirius flashed his playful smirk at her and her heart thumped rapidly.

"Aren't you a modest one." She tried to tease, wishing she could have thought of something wittier to say.

The boys stayed for an hour, she meekly nodded and laughed as the boys told her antidotes of their time at school and the pranks they pulled. Hermione tried to enjoy their stories but in her mind she kept comparing the Sirius in front of her to her Sirius. They were very different people but every time he laughed that deep, bark like laugh Hermione felt a pang deep down. She felt guilty that she was here enjoying this moment that Harry would have given anything and everything to have. Harry. How was he doing? she wondered. Molly and family would be taking care of him but she knew he would me now mourning the lost of another close to him. Did he find her letter and would he understand.

Hermione was kind of glad when the boys left. It was hard seeing the both of them so young, wide eyes and full of promise. Neither of them knowing what was coming in just a few short years.

Tom had returned and told her Mr. Blott had excused her from work. And tomorrow was a Sunday so she didn't work then.

Hermione reached in to her trusty mole skin purse looking for the flask that had become a crutch of sorts to her, the cheap alcohol kept her mind off painful subjects, such as Harry, Ron and Sirius. She took a long sip, followed by another. She wondered if she could sneak away from Tom for a cigarette. She doubted it though, so instead settled for sipping from her flask and reading a book on the giant wars she brought the day before.

As Hermione drank more thoughts of Sirius swirled around her head. She remembered arguing with him in the parlour.

'_You're much too young and I much too old! He had protested. It just isn't right. I never should have kissed you Hermione! It was irresponsible of me.'_

_'I don't care Sirius, I'm old enough to know what i want. I'll be seventeen in six months!' Hermione lent in to him as he pulled back, losing his balance at the precise moment she did. He toppled over and she fell on top of him. Taking her chance she pressed her lips to his, timidly at first then deepening the kiss as she feel his supple lips kiss back. She kissed him greedily, her tongue following the slight gap in his lips. He moaned under her slightly, rough hands sliding down the small of her back before carefully pushing her off._

_'We can't' he hissed. ''What would Harry or Molly say'_

_' I don't care' was her breathless reply. She lent in to him once more surprised when he surrendered himself to her. She was nervous but as she felt her lips against his her nerves melted away. They both needed this. Footsteps interrupted them, they pulled apart panting slightly Hermiones checks flushed a deep rose.._

Hermione briefly found herself wondering what kissing the younger Sirius would feel like, it wasn't her Sirius but still he was going to grow in to the man she had feelings for since the start of fourth year. She needed to feel him by her side, holding her, caressing her. To smell his unique scent on her skin. His teeth nibbling at her collarbone. Taking her like he had done the holidays before his death. Would it be wrong of her to use this Sirius to feel the void the older one had left. she was being silly shoe decided. The young Sirius was a very handsome man he must have had loads of female admirers to choose from. Why would be go for a no-it-all bookworm with a slight drinking problem.

Hermione felt tears running down her checks as she sobbed hysterically. Reaching in to her purse she pulled out a small bottle of absinthe she had purchased on her last visit to muggle London. Bottle in hand cigarettes in the other she stumbled over to the window. She jimmied it open and climbed out on the ledge.

She light her cigarette with shaking hands, spluttering slightly as she drew the smoke in to her lungs. She was by no means a seasoned smoker having only taken up the habit after Sirius' passing.

she stayed on the Ledge watching the sun go down, Drinking and chain smoking. She imagined edge must have looked quite a sight if anyone could see her, tear stained face, bags under her eyes and birds nest hair. she almost laughed in spite of herself.

Eventually she crawled back though the window, to shower and lay down. It was going to be a rough, sleepless night...


End file.
